Why Seeking Perfection in Others is Hurting Your Spiritual Development - The Hermit Bo
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Why Seeking Perfection in Others is Hurting Your Spiritual Development

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Perfection is an unobtainable goal that we should be seeking in ourselves and not in others.

There is an anecdote to the above quote that I came up with. I was at the park with my little beam of sunshine and I was speaking with a single mom. After talking about relationships and breakups, she reveled to me that she was just trying and wanting to find the perfect man. I thought to myself, “Now why would you do that to yourself”? No one is perfect, that’s just plain human. I also told her she would be much better off seeking perfection in herself, so that she can receive that perfect mate.

When we seek perfection in others we tend to set ourselves up for failure because humans have hundreds of personality traits, qualities and idiosyncrasies of which we may not be privy to all of them and may not see it until it is too late. Seeking the perfect job would be more obtainable than the perfect mate. At least in a job we can learn and grow with it. But understanding why we should seek perfection in ourselves rather than from others is the best route to attract that twin flame or soulmate.

1.Perfection is Subjective and our own ideas of perfection changes regularly

seeking perfection

Have you ever been to a museum and set next to someone who was maybe an art major or knew a little bit about art? You both were looking at the same piece of art. Your friend thinks that the piece of art is a perfect piece of work, but you think that it is a piece of something else. Then maybe you desire to go to art school and understand the process that went behind the piece of art, or the story behind it and how the brush strokes created that pattern. Then you start to appreciate it and maybe you yourself thinks that that this piece of art is perfect.

We can create our own false perception of perfection just by how we think, our upbringing, education and also popular culture and media. When we educate ourselves a certain way and become that which we want to be perfect we then see that piece of art or in that case that mate in a different way. We then begin to appreciate them for their complexity and story behind them.

2. Everyone is A Mirror

everyone is your mirror

Have you ever noticed what makes you upset about others? Maybe they lie a lot, or are hypocritical. Everyone in our lives is a reflection of us. That which triggers negative emotions in ourselves are traits that we have or are capable of doing. Like the old phrase “It takes one to know one”. By looking for that perfect match we are running away from problems that we have to fix within ourselves. Think of this as your dark work, fixing problems within so that you can practice your light work, connecting with someone on the outside.

Start working on what you want in yourself, if you want an emotionally stable, genuine, mature mate but can never find him or her then maybe the issue is not with them. It may be with you and you are seeing yourself in their mirror. It’s time to start working on yourself so that you can receive that which you want.

3. No one can take better care of you than you

There is not going to be anyone that can take better care of you than yourself. Don’t look for anyone else to make you happy or positive or emotionally stable. It won’t last, because if it ever does get fixed then that relationship is over. Because you were looking for something that they can do for you, that was your bond and now that bond is missing.

Love yourself to be loved.

 

4. Looking for perfection as an imperfect self

Imagine if you found that perfect job, 100k per year, full dental and medical, working from home or in a nice cushy office by the beach. Now imagine if you were working at that job and lacked the skills that it takes to perform your duties. That job won’t last for long, this usually leads to frustration and distrust and disappointment.

A relationship is much the same you may have found the perfect mate, but what if you are not the perfect mate much like a job this will not last too long. Work on your souls resume and get the experience you need to perfect yourself.

5. Perfection seeks perfection

When you become your perfect self you will find similar and like minded people that will complement your work. What we gain in this world does not come without a process, enjoy your process of getting where you get as they enjoyed theirs. You will appreciate things more including them.

6. Seeking perfection in others is like a spiritual and mental crutch

You are complete as you are. You’re soul is connected to everything and everyone. You also have the ability to be perfect yourself. Relying on others’ perfection to complete you will hinder your spiritual growth. Compliment your partner’s spirit by being the best you you can be.

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