Spiritual Parenting can be the most difficult thing for a parent to have to deal with. No matter what religion, background, or denomination you are part of, spirituality in the secular world is the most difficult thing that you as a parent will have to deal with.
I grew up with the understanding that the mother is the most important part of the family, but dad is the most listened to. We had strong family values in my household. We didn’t have the best life. Growing up in Compton, California in the late 80’s was very difficult. Top that off with poverty, a mother who worked her fingers to the bones and a father that was schizophrenic and you had a recipe for disaster. The only thing that helped us through everything was faith and spirituality.
My mother was the bread winner, the source of inspiration as she was a creative in her hippie days. She also gave my brother and myself sound advice about everything from women, drug use, to dealing with children. Mot of which I will talk about is from my mother, as well as things that I have learned along the way from having 2 children in difficult situations.
My Personal Spiritual Parenting
Recently my oldest son got into a bit of trouble at his school. I will not say what it was to protect him but based on the current situations that is ongoing in our nation and schools it was pretty bad. My son is what most would say is a perfect child. He has straight A’s, in one of the top schools in his environment, taking robotics and I will say that he is a lot smarter and determined than I was at his age. Me and his mother are no longer together but we are cordial and close when it comes to our son, it’s quite beautiful I would have to say. For the first time his mom turned to me for advice, as my son is getting into his teens and she is having a difficult time with what’s going on. I was ready!
Some advice from my mom:
No matter what happens, what you are going through, what your children are going through, or what the world is going through. Everything is completely normal.
As parents we tend to freak out when something goes wrong especially when it comes to our loves. Just remember everything is exactly as it should be. As a youth, you went through some pretty hard times, especially if you are reading this right now. Most people who are going through a spiritual journey or awakening has had a hard life and went through or did some pretty crazy stuff. Your kids are part of you and part of your awakening, and spiritual growth. The best advice that I got from my mom is to act like everything is normal. A child will pick up on distress signals from their parents and act accordingly. I had a very abnormal life but at the end of the day, after all of the madness ended, it was business as usual.
One mistake isn’t going to ruin your child’s life.
We try to raise our kids to be the best they can be. However, there is that time in their lives, usually around 7th grade, because 7th grade sucks! that they make mistakes, some small, some big. When I was in 7th grade I got in my first and only fight, I was suspended from school and never wanted to go back. I abhorred the scorn of the teachers staff and fellow peers for doing something that went against the norms of public school protocol. But when I went back to school after my 2 day suspension, most of the kids had forgotten and the ones who didn’t forget had a deeper understanding of who I was.
I had been bullied a lot at my school because I was so different. After the incident, I was no longer bullied. My parents weren’t into punishments or anything. I just had a dad that would talk my ear off when anything happened. When I got in the fight his only response was “Why were you fighting?” And “did you win?” Life didn’t really change, I didn’t end up in prison years later or become bitter or a hardened criminal; because my parents treated it as if it were just a part of life.
Mistakes are just a part of life.
As parents we have to allow our youth to make mistakes. Now, I’m not saying that we have to be passive and not care. But we have to trust that if we tried to raise the best kids that we could, and have instilled good values in them, that once they reach their adolescence, when they do start making mistakes, they will make the right decisions there after. We can’t be helicopter parents forever. They will get hurt, they will fall, they will go through things that we never did. If we give them advice instead of scorning them, give them choices and did our jobs as parents, they will make the right decisions.
Don’t be too hard on them
One of the worse things to do when a child makes mistakes is be overly hard on them. When this is done a child can think that you as a parent hate them for what they did. They then start to rebel, then you will continue to treat them as a criminal and in the thinking of most people, if they are treated a certain way they become a certain way. Continue to treat your child with love and kindness, that’s all we can do as parents. once they reach the age of reasoning and independence they will remember what you did and how you treated them.
Part of spiritual parenting is having the ability to see things from a bigger picture as far as the spiritual development, not just for your child but for yourself as well. As the Native Americans, Africans and ancient Chinese philosophers say; “We are only borrowing this world from our children”. We have to let go of ego, attachments and anger so that we learn to instill those same qualities in our youth. You will grow as will your children, as difficult as it is we are their parents and need to set good examples, be there for them yet know when to let go.
Part of your spiritual mission in life is guiding others on their path, that includes your children. If you wan’t to know more about what it means to be spiritually awakened then click here>>